Quotes about Humor

Metcalf, is that your foot I'm stepping on?' 'No, sir. It must be Lieutenant Scheisskopf's foot.' 'It isn't my foot,' said Lieutenant Scheisskopf. 'Then maybe it is my foot after all,' said Major Metcalf. 'Move it.' 'Yes, sir. You'll have to move your foot first, colonel. It's on top of mine.' 'Are you telling me to move my foot?' 'No, sir. Oh, no, sir.

With that in mind, here is a list of suggested things to thank God for. You may not have everything on this list (right now), but maybe many of them will resonate with you. The leper I met would have been elated to have any of these things. A roof over your head A friend who checks in on you Family members who love you A car that is running (yes, even if it's barely running) A full stomach Hot and cold running water A sense of humor

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.

I find that people find a way out of misery through humor and it's humor that's often unacceptable to people who are not in quite such a state of misery.

She reflected she must be completely besotted with Peter, if his laughter could hallow an aspidistra.

can I have the heart to fluster the flustered Thipps further—that's very difficult to say quickly—by appearing in a top-hat and frock-coat? I think not. Ten to one he will overlook my trousers and mistake me for the undertaker. A grey suit, I fancy, neat but not gaudy, with a hat to tone, suits my other self better. Exit the amateur of first editions; new motive introduced by solo bassoon; enter Sherlock Holmes, disguised as a walking gentleman.

Peter: Oy! Harriet: Hullo! Peter: I just wanted to ask whether you'd given any further thought to that suggestion about marrying me. Harriet (sarcastically) : I suppose you were thinking how delightful it would be to go through life together like this? Peter: Well, not quite like this. Hand in hand was more my idea. Harriet: What is that in your hand? Peter: A dead starfish. Harriet: Poor fish! Peter: No ill-feeling, I trust? Harriet: Oh, dear no.

I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.

I definitely grew up on Garfield. I just loved his pessimism.

It's so hard to make a comedy pilot and have a cool idea.

I remember talking to comedian Jimmy Pardo about his experience waiting to hear about his own pilot, and we both agreed on one thing: When you can't control your showbiz fate, you can at least control the amount of ice cream you're eating. And if you're like us, it was a lot.

If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.