Quotes about Humor

I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?

The man had the intelligence of the average fence post, the personality of a wounded warthog, and the stubbornness of a flea-bitten mule. Grace silently apologized to all the animals she'd just insulted.

An old jeep, so nobody will say I'm driving a BMW anymore. I couldn't stand that BMW, ha ha ha! BMW make pure trouble!

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

They asked her (Ruth Graham) did she ever think about divorce and she said, 'No, I've never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage, but,' she said, 'I did think of murder a few times.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

You'll be fine. It's only a little jail time. I do this all the time.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

The gospel of Jesus points us and indeed urges us to be at the leading edge of the whole culture, articulating in story and music and art and philosophy and education and poetry and politics and theology and even, heaven help us, biblical studies, a worldview that will mount the historically rooted Christian challenge to both modernity and postmodernity, leading the way into the postmodern world with joy and humor and gentleness and good judgment and true wisdom.

People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Mrs. Allonby: They say, Lady Hunstanton, that when good Americans die they go to Paris.Lady Hunstanton: Indeed? And when bad Americans die, where do they go to?Lord Illingworth: Oh, they go to America.