Quotes about Humor
I could never be cynical, not that I think there's anything wrong with cynicism. I think it can be quite funny at times. But I just feel so grateful to be alive.
- Drew Barrymore
I like it when very little children think for themselves, because they do not have access to car keys or credit cards or crack pipes, but they have some really funny lines.
- Roseanne Barr
It's easy to be negatively funny about personalities in the media. It's just kind of a cheap laugh.
- Stephen Malkmus
Kings and such are just as funny as politicians.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and I said, 'Yes, when I am rich and famous.' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Yes, when the moon is made of green cheese.
- LM Montgomery
Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
- Anonymous
Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.
- Stephen Colbert
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'
- Conan O'Brien
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
- Anonymous
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
- Roseanne Barr
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
- Mark Twain