Quotes about Humor

Obviously Christianity is the one true faith, but if Islam is correct, u are fucked. I mean you are power fucked." - John Oliver to Alex McFarland

One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore... and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.

You think you're being difficult, my little sausage? Have I ever told you about the time I drank eight vodka martinis, took all my clothes off in front of a film crew and then broke my manager's nose?

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, 'Hey, check out my zit!' - you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

I love Lucille Ball. But you don't call that Shakespeare. It's just entertainment, you know. And if you like that, then go have a ball, have fun.

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

When I was young and irresponsible, I was young and irresponsible.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

I don't look good in tights. I know that.

When all is done, human life is, at the greatest and the best, but like a froward child, that must be played with and humored a little to keep it quiet till it falls asleep, and then the care is over.

I remember in 'Men in Black,' there's a coffee room, a tiny little room where they have their coffee break. In the offices I worked in, yeah, there were rooms like that.

Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to elect a dumb guy from Texas. But in time.