Quotes about Wit

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.

A good preacher should have these properties and virtues: 1. Teach systematically 2. Have a ready wit 3. Be eloquent 4. Have a good voice 5. Have a good memory 6. Know when to make an end 7. Be sure of his doctrine 8. Venture and engage body and blood, wealth and honour, in the Word 9. Suffer himself to be mocked and jeered of every one

The man had the intelligence of the average fence post, the personality of a wounded warthog, and the stubbornness of a flea-bitten mule. Grace silently apologized to all the animals she'd just insulted.

People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism.

There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke, though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns, and more than suspects that the joke is at nobody's expense but his own.

Let's face it, the average computer user has the brain of a Spider Monkey.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.

An unemployed court jester is nobody's fool.

There's a tremendous amount of humor... in very unexpected places.

Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?