Why did he endure all these feelings? Because he knew you would feel them too.

We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world--the company of those who have known suffering.

Deep friendships are forged in the fire of pain.

You've been a good steward of it. You've been a good steward of your pain.

To heal, it seems we have to stand in the middle of the horror, at the foot of the cross, and wait out another's suffering where that person can see us.

God] seeks us in dark places and suffers with us in our tragic prodigality.

Our tendency in the midst of suffering is to turn on God. To get angry and bitter and shake our fist at the sky and say, "God, you don't know what it's like! You don't understand! You have no idea what I'm going through. You don't have a clue how much this hurts." The cross is God's way of taking away all of our accusations, excuses, and arguments. The cross is God taking on flesh and blood and saying, "Me too.

When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.

It is not that suffering or failure might happen, or that it will only happen to you if you are bad (which is what religious people often think), or that it will happen to the unfortunate, or to a few in other places, or that you can somehow by cleverness or righteousness avoid it. No, it will happen, and to you! Losing, failing, falling, sin, and the suffering that comes from those experiences—all of this is a necessary and even good part of the human journey.

If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it.

The lack of hate between executioner and victim, perhaps this is God.

All great spirituality is about what we do with our pain.