Those who are in pain — most of the world's populations at any given moment — do not do a lot of thinking, speaking, or writing about suffering. All their energy goes into surviving. That is why a lot of what is said and written about suffering seems hollow to those actually in pain.

These seasons of suffering are not for nothing. They will grow you. They will shape you. They will soften you. They will allow you to experience God's comfort and compassion. But you will find life-giving purpose and meaning when you allow God to take your painful experiences and comfort others. You will be able to share a unique hope because you know exactly what it feels like to be them.

Feeling the pain is the first step toward healing the pain. The longer we avoid the feeling, the more we delay our healing. We can numb it, ignore it, or pretend it doesn't exist, but all those options lead to an eventual breakdown, not a breakthrough.

We must feel the pain to heal the pain. If we never allow ourselves to feel it, we won't acknowledge it's there.

Do not let the heartbreak you have experienced be wasted. God is still with you. His promises still stand. Soak in His truths and let them seep into the deepest places of your heart rubbed raw with uncertainty.

To deny my feelings any voice is to rob me of being human. But to let my feelings be the only voice will rob my soul of healing perspectives with which God wants to comfort me and carry me forward.

In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits.

It's necessary for you to not let pain rewrite your memories, and it's absolutely necessary not to let pain ruin your future.

When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. (PSALM 94:18 — 19)

But Jesus doesn't refuse to reach out to us in the middle of hurts and heartbreaks and mess-ups.

You will hear human answers that try to tie bows around the big blows of life. These sound good in a sermon but never hold up in real life. And that's when you will see what a gift it is that you've been entrusted with enough hurt to keep you humane. You'll offer the only real answer available: 'The Lord helped me survive and He'll help you too. I'll hold your hand while you find your way to Him.

This isn't an indication that your healing isn't working. It's just an indication that you're a human still holding on to some hurt that needs to be resolved.