We begin to forgive by choosing to forgive . . . by deciding, not by feeling. Our feelings don't lead us to forgive. Most times, our feelings lead us the other way. That's why a person has to decide to forgive first. Our feelings always follow along behind our decisions.

Victims don't want to be proactive about changing—they want to be proactive about making sure that the person who hurt them pays. And so we spend our energy telling our sad stories rather than taking responsibility for our behavior. Thus we open the door of our hearts and welcome in the Trojan horse of bitterness. And it stands there, a monument, a constant reminder of a debt someone has yet to pay. Somebody owes us.

Your pain isn't a trophy to show off. It's not a story to tell. It's potentially poison to your soul. To refuse to forgive is to choose to self-destruct.

In the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feel like a decision to reward my enemy. But in the shadow of the cross, forgiveness is merely a gift from one undeserving soul to another.

Here's a question every angry man and woman needs to consider: How long are you going to allow people you don't even like — people who are no longer in your life, maybe even people who aren't even alive anymore — to control your life? How long?

The root of anger is the perception that something has been taken. Something is owed you, and now a debt to debtor relationship has been established.

Remember that I have been a legalist. We are the ones who throw stones. We are quick to judge without knowledge. We feed rumors and incline our heads to hear more. We label the messy people and gossip about the sinners and shake our heads in disgust. And when you have been a legalist in ministry, it's not pretty. And it's not ministry. And it couldn't possibly be what the Jesus had in mind when He said, "Go and teach them about me.

I try to see the good in everybody, and I don't care who people are as long as they're themselves, whatever that is.

In the hands of the ego, marriage is a prison. It is exclusive. It is a place where people are constantly reminded of their failures and limited by the energies of another person. It is rife with judgment and blame.

Where there is injury let me sow pardon.

If the great American people will only keep their temper, on both sides of the line, the troubles will come to an end, and the question which now distracts the country will be settled just as surely as all other difficulties of like character which have originated in this government have been adjusted.

Our lack of forgiveness makes us hate, and our lack of compassion makes us hard-hearted. Pride in our hearts makes us resentful and keeps our memory in a constant whirlwind of passion and self-pity.