But weeping with them and rejoicing with them does not mean trying to take control of their out-of-control choices and behaviors. We can forgive them. But we cannot control them. And we should not enable them.

Unrealistic expectations are things the other person isn't able or willing to do for me. I have to let go of these.

Forgiveness releases to the Lord your need for them to be punished or corrected, giving it to the only One who can do this with right measures of justice and mercy.

I only needed to bring my willingness to forgive, not the fullness of all my restored feelings.

My counselor says, "Adults inform, children explain." I will state my boundaries with compassion and clarity. But I will not negotiate excuses or navigate exceptions with lengthy explanations that wear me down emotionally.

What we need is boundaries, not barriers.

Healthy relationships don't feel threatening. Loving relationships don't feel cruel. Secure relationships don't feel as if everything could implode if you dared to draw a boundary.

God made us For Giving. God made you For Giving. God made me For Giving.

grace is such a crazy notion to the heart of the one rejected. But if we will step over the hurt feelings and turn from the box of bitter rot, we are then free to pick up the box of sweet, pure lilies.

We must respect ourselves enough to break the pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on others. After all, people will not respect us more than we respect ourselves. No, it's not wrong to need people. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can't ever possibly meet.

What happened yesterday can't be changed, but it can be forgiven. That's your miracle in the mess.

Boundaries are simply clearly stated parameters that provide a safe structure for communication and the health of a relationship.