Quotes from Roseanne Barr
Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.
- Roseanne Barr
Ever since I was a girl, I have written about one to five pages every day - on napkins, on scrap paper, in notebooks and tablets, on the walls in my room as a teenager, and in orange paint on the cheap white plastic blinds in my room.
- Roseanne Barr
My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had.
- Roseanne Barr
I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job.
- Roseanne Barr
My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
- Roseanne Barr
You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it.
- Roseanne Barr
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
- Roseanne Barr
I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish.
- Roseanne Barr
I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
- Roseanne Barr
I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
- Roseanne Barr
As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.
- Roseanne Barr
I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.
- Roseanne Barr