Quotes from Melody Beattie

In spite of the range of needs and wants that go unmet when we don't love, it may feel safer to not love. We don't risk the uncertainty and vulnerability of closeness. We don't risk the pain of loving, and for many of us love has caused a great deal of pain.

Real power comes from feeling our feelings, not from ignoring them. Real strength comes, not from pretending to be strong all the time, but from acknowledging our weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

Love cannot exist without the dimension of justice.

When we don't get close to people, at least we know what to expect: nothing.

Letting go is the action part of faith. It is a behavior that gives God and the Universe permission to send us what we're meant to have.

Who we are right now is okay.

Healthy are those who mourn," writes Donald L. Anderson, a minister and psychologist, in Better Than Blessed. "Only very recently have we begun to realize that to deny grief is to deny a natural human function and that such denial sometimes produces dire consequences," he continues.

Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act.

We can evaluate our behavior. We can make decisions about what we need and want. We can figure out what our problems are and what we need to do to solve them.

Yes, we have the right to be mad at a sick person. We didn't ask for the problem. Although the ideal feeling is compassion, we probably won't feel this until we deal with our anger.

The chemically dependent partner numbs the feelings and the nonabuser is doubled over in pain—relieved only by anger and occasional fantasies," wrote Janet Geringer Woititz in an article from the book CoDependency, An Emerging Issue.1

God, help me remember that when I admit and accept the truth, I'll be given the power and guidance to change.