Quotes from Mark Twain

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The first time I ever saw St. Louis, I could have bought it for six million dollars, and it was the mistake of my life that I did not do it.

It is in the heart that the values lie. I wish I could make him understand that a loving heart is riches, and riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.

In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

But I... never could make a good impromptu speech without several hours to prepare it.

I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't.... The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.

A great person is one who affects the younger generation by his positivity