Quotes from Mark Twain

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy must have somebody to divide it with.

Perseverance is a principle that should be commendable in those who have judgment to govern it

He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven.

A marriage...makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.