Quotes from Mark Twain

Love seems the swiftest but is the slowest of all growths. No man and woman really know what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despot's dread of a newspaper that laughs.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety and nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stocks snuggles into your heart in the same way.

We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.

I believe I see what the week is for: it is to give time to rest up from the weariness of Sunday.

I was blaspheming my luck in a way that made my breath smell of brimstone.

I shall not make use of slang or vulgarity upon any occasion or under any circumstances, and shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not even use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading — though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.

There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.

I put in these parentheses to signify a complicated wink — you understand?

Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His work must be contemplated with respect.