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Quotes from Mark Twain

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
- Mark Twain
I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
- Mark Twain
Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
- Mark Twain
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
- Mark Twain
One must travel, to learn.
- Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
- Mark Twain
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
- Mark Twain
A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.
- Mark Twain
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
- Mark Twain
Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.
- Mark Twain
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
- Mark Twain
Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
- Mark Twain