Quotes from Mark Twain
No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
- Mark Twain
We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.
- Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
- Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
- Mark Twain
Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
- Mark Twain
My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart-a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.
- Mark Twain
An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
- Mark Twain
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
- Mark Twain
One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
- Mark Twain
I am only human, although I regret it.
- Mark Twain
Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
- Mark Twain