Quotes from Mark Twain

I could not really complain, because he had only given me his word of honor as security; I ought to have required of him something substantial.

Because in my nature I have always run to pie, whilst in his nature he has always run to mystery.

Like it! Yes—the way I'd like a hot stove if I was to set on it long enough. No, Tom, I won't be rich, and I won't live in them cussed smothery houses. I like the woods, and the river, and hogsheads, and I'll stick to 'em, too.

The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two.

So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is. Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.

The Doors Open at 7, The trouble begins at 8.

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. - Mark Twain

It was indeed a glad and gracious time, and the half dozen rash spirits that ventured to disapprove of the war and cast a doubt upon its righteousness straightway got such a stern and angry warning that for their personal safety's sake they quickly shrank out of sight and offended no more in that way.

I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much instruction and moral upheaval out of it.

Today the same thing over. I've got it up the tree again.