Quotes from Mark Twain

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.

Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles

Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.

There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

A sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience.

I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.