Quotes from Mark Twain

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

She kept up her compliments, and I kept up my determination to deserve them or die.

We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.

I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always 20 years behind the times.

You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

He was not the Model Boy of the village. He knew the model boy very well though—and loathed him.

It is easier to fool the people, than to convince them they have been fooled. No man's life,liberty, and property are safe while the legislature is in session.

You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.

Steal a chicken if you get a chance, Huck, because if you don't want it, someone else does and a good deed ain't never forgotten.

I know your race. It is made up of sheep. It is governed by minorities, seldom or never by majorities. It suppresses its feelings and its beliefs and follows the handful that makes the most noise.