Quotes from Mark Twain

A brown spotted lady-bug climbed the dizzy height of a grass blade, and Tom bent down close to it and said, Lady-bug, lady-bug, fly away home, your house is on fire, your children's alone, and she took wing and went off to see about it -- which did not surprise the boy, for he knew of old that this insect was credulous about conflagrations, and he had practised upon its simplicity more than once.

I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of this world'd luxuries, king by grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took: we know it because she repented.

There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.

Nothing exists. All is a dream. God—man—the world—the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars—a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space—and you…. And you are not you—you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought.

I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

Homely truth is unpalatable.

The weakest of all weak things is a virtue which has not been tested in the fire.

It is never wrong to do the right thing.