Quotes from Mark Twain

Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.

It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy--that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them.

It is better to be alone than unwelcome. - Eve

All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the elect have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so slow, so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle — keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.

I don't like to commit myself about Heaven and Hell, you see, I have friends in both places.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.