Quotes from Mark Twain

I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn't repent of within twenty-four hours.

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; ... I should be sorry to have that voice fall silent and pass out of my life.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.