Quotes from H. Norman Wright

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic; a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts; an enabler rather than a reformer.

Listening is a gift of spiritual significance that you can learn to give to others. When you listen, you give one a sense of importance, hope and love that he or she may not receive any other way. Through listening, we nurture and validate the feelings one has, especially when he or she experiences difficulties in life.

Every person is different. Yet often, those differences are not understood or valued by others.

It is easier for most of us to affirm positive behavior than to deal with negative behavior in a positive way.

Is constructive criticism really constructive? Not really. You can't make a child better by pointing out what you think is wrong with him or her. Criticism either crushes spirit or elicits defensiveness. Constructive criticism is an interesting combination of words. "Construct" means "to build." "Criticism" means "to tear down" It creates defiance and anger as well.

Sometimes we disfigure ourselves by what we think about ourselves rather than by what we do to ourselves. Some people have been disfigured emotionally because of what others did to them when they were children. Sometimes our memory banks become warehouses of beliefs and feelings that cripple our progress.

It's been suggested that successful communication consists of 7 percent content, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent nonverbal communication. We're usually aware of the content of what we're saying, but not nearly as aware of our tone of voice.

In a sense, you're also a sculptor fashioning the other party. The words and looks you use are the tools that leave imprints. Nurturing words shape the heart. As you allow the holy spirit to rework and refashion your beliefs about yourself, drawing closer to Christ's image, your skills as a potter or sculptor will be refined.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

Convey nurturing messages both verbally and nonverbally. If you fill one's life with positive messages of their value to you and to God, they wll develop self-worth and self-disciplines, and become responsible independent adults. Ideally, communication should be filled with nurturing messages.

Couples who have growing, fulfilling marriages have thought lives that are positive and healthy. What happens between the couples is a reflection of the inner workings of each person's mind and heart.

As a culture, we seem to have an intolerance for suffering; we tend to want those who have experienced a loss of any kind to get on with their lives as quickly as possible. Often, by minimizing the impact of significant losses, pathologizing those whose reactions are intense, and applauding those who seem relatively unaffected by tragic events, we encourage the inhibition of our own grief.