Quotes from Lily Tomlin
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
- Lily Tomlin
When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.
- Lily Tomlin
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
- Lily Tomlin
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
- Lily Tomlin
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
- Lily Tomlin
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
- Lily Tomlin
You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice. Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very, very happy about it.
- Lily Tomlin
I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won't.
- Lily Tomlin
I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.
- Lily Tomlin
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
- Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
- Lily Tomlin