Quotes from Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
- Tucker Max
Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
- Tucker Max
Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
- Tucker Max
No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
- Tucker Max
Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
- Tucker Max
People, heed my warning: That stuff is Specials Olympics in a pint glass. You think they are harmless and not very strong, and the next thing you know it is an hour later and you are in the bathroom of the bar with your pants off, surrounded by five girls, giving your boxers to a bachelorette party because one of the girls is cute and told you that you had a nice butt. Be forewarned. - from the Austin Road Trip story
- Tucker Max
Here's to the women we've met, and to the women we've fucked, And to those amongst us who've had no such luck. Here's to beer in the glass, and vodka in the cup, Here's to pokin' her in the ass, so she won't get knocked up. Here's to all of you, and here's to me, Together as friends we'll always be, But if we should ever disagree, Then FUCK ALL OF YOU, HERE'S TO ME!
- Tucker Max
I wish I could bottle the seductive look she gave me so I could sniff it when I jack off.
- Tucker Max
One of life's great secrets: women don't look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women.
- Tucker Max
You can make a lot of money from a book, but that is done by using a book as a marketing tool.
- Tucker Max
SlingBlade: "If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth.
- Tucker Max
It is not easy to properly position and structure a book, not to mention to do the actual writing.
- Tucker Max