Quotes from Tom Lehrer

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize! Plagiarize! Let no one else's work evade your eyes! Remember why the good Lord made your eyes! So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize - Only be sure always to call it please 'research'." [ Lobachevsky ]

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it.

I don't think this kind of thing [satire] has an impact on the unconverted, frankly. It's not even preaching to the converted; it's titillating the converted. I think the people who say we need satire often mean, 'We need satire of them, not of us.' I'm fond of quoting Peter Cook, who talked about the satirical Berlin cabarets of the '30s, which did so much to stop the rise of Hitler and prevent the Second World War.

If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.