Quotes from Gary Thomas

Good spiritual directors understand that people have different spiritual temperaments, that what feeds one doesn't feed all. Giving the same spiritual prescription to every struggling Christian is no less irresponsible than a doctor prescribing penicillin to every patient.

Proverbs takes a supremely pragmatic approach: "A wife of noble character who can find?" (31:10). This verse assumes that we are involved in a serious pursuit, actively engaging our minds to make a wise choice. And the top thing a young man should consider is this: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30).

Such individuals marry on an infatuation binge without seriously considering character, compatibility, life goals, family desires, spiritual health, and other important concerns. Then when the infatuation fades and the relationship requires work, one or both partners suddenly discover that they were "mistaken." This person must not be their soul mate after all; otherwise, it wouldn't be so much work.

Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over-expectations, or thanksgivings. That choice will result in a birth-and the child will be named either contempt, or respect.

When God does not supply our motivation, we tend to major in the minors and minor in the majors.

Our battle is today. Because of God's grace, yesterday doesn't count. Because of God's hope, worry about tomorrow is inappropriate.

Christian life is a journey toward love, growing in love, expanding in our ability to love, surrendering our hearts to love, increasingly becoming a person who is motivated by love.

Honor isn't passive, it's active. We honor our wives by demonstrating our esteem and respect: complimenting them in public; affirming their gifts, abilities, and accomplishments; and declaring our appreciation for all they do. Honor not expressed is not honor."

When a toxic person attacks us, let's think these words first: I honor my Father in heaven above all things. Pleasing you or getting you to agree with me isn't my first goal in life. After explaining his motivation, Jesus puts the issue back on the toxic person, where it belongs. This isn't about me because I'm honoring my Father; this is about you because you're dishonoring me.

This is a book that looks at how we can use the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage to draw closer to God and to grow in Christian character.

One can do many external deeds of love and still hold back the really precious gift, the inner self. This gift can be given only through communication.

The reality of the human condition is such that, according to Porter (and I agree), we must "salvage our fragments of happiness" out of life's inevitable sufferings.