Quotes from Gary Thomas

You have to understand before you can respect, and you have to respect before you can fully love. This is a tremendously spiritually therapeutic process, an emptying of myself so I can grow more in my love for others.

Individual acts don't make a person toxic; toxic describes someone who feels comfortable in those acts and energized by those acts and who makes those acts the common approach to their relationships.

Infatuation fills your eyes with what you're getting, but let the Bible fill your mind with what you're committing to give.

the picture of marriage as God intended it to be — two equals, albeit different, completely and wholly serving the other person as though they are greater than themselves, thus creating not a male-female power struggle over who is more worthy, but a harmony that reflects the character of God in the Trinity and the ministry of reconciliation in the world.

As it pertains to you and me, let's admit we can't reach everyone, so let's invest our time in the reliable people we can reach. Find out who is toxic to you, consider walking away, and entrust them to God.

In a mixed egalitarian/complimentarian marriage, both the husband and wife will likely treat each other according to their perceived sense of marital duties, but those duties won't be received as such. They'll be resented....people who disagree on this issue can still worship the same God, but it will be difficult for them to raise the same kids or operate the same household.

Marriage creates a situation in which our desire to be served and coddled can be replaced with a nobler desire to serve others — even to sacrifice for others.

I believe God designed marriage, in part, to "pinch our feet." Both men and women need to have their pride assaulted. All of us, men and women alike, if we are to become like Christ, must, by definition, learn to become servants. And marriage gives us the opportunity to do just that.

life is richest when you give each moment of each day to God with the prayer, "Let me receive your love and pour it out on these people so that I can represent you every minute of the day."

The assumption is that loving their husbands is an unnatural skill that wives must learn — better yet, we could describe it as a supernatural skill.

Paul urges us to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This puts prayer on a far higher plane than mere intercession. It marks prayer as the heart of our devotion, the constant awareness of God's presence, our consistent submission to his will, and our frequent expressions of adoration and praise.

Some use the label toxic much too broadly as an excuse to avoid difficult, different, or hurting people.